Free checklist for high-conflict co-parents
Something Is Wrong.
But You Cannot Prove It Yet.
Get the free Emergency Red Flag Checklist — the specific behaviours to document right now, sorted into three categories, before the evidence window closes.
Get the free checklist
The Emergency Red Flag Checklist
Private and confidential. Unsubscribe any time.
You are not imagining it
The comments in front of the children. The sudden schedule changes. The way things get twisted when they reach a professional.
The feeling that everything you do is being catalogued, and you are the only one without a record.
You are not imagining it. You just do not have it documented yet. The Emergency Red Flag Checklist does not require you to be certain. It requires you to start paying attention in the right way so that when the pattern becomes undeniable, you have a record that proves it.
What the checklist covers
Three categories. One page. Start today.
Communication Red Flags
The specific patterns in texts, emails and exchanges that signal escalating conflict or parental alienation, and why timing matters more than content.
Behavioural Red Flags
What to watch for during handovers, at school events and in your children’s responses: the observable patterns that build a credible case over time.
Legal Red Flags
The actions that require immediate documentation and potential attorney notification. These are the ones that lose evidentiary value if not captured within 24 hours.
Start with the Legal Red Flags section. If anything on that list has happened in the last 48 hours, document it today. Everything else can wait. That section cannot.
Is this for you
This checklist is for a specific situation
Not all co-parenting is high-conflict. This checklist is for parents who already sense the ground is not level.
This is for you if
- You are co-parenting with someone who does not operate in good faith
- You feel like things are happening that should be documented but you do not know where to start
- You have had concerns dismissed because you could not point to specific evidence
- You want to protect yourself and your children without escalating conflict unnecessarily
- You suspect you are being set up and need to start building a parallel record now
This is not for you if
- Your co-parenting relationship is cooperative and in good faith
- You are looking for ways to escalate or manufacture conflict
- You want legal advice — this is strategic guidance, not legal counsel
Proof of outcomes
From parents who started where you are
Real outcomes from people who used the checklist as a starting point and built from there.
The legal categories that must be captured within 24 hours. The checklist tells you exactly which ones.
One incident is an accident. Two is a dispute. Three documented instances of the same behaviour are a legally recognisable pattern.
The checklist is one page. You can read it, identify your priority category and make your first documentation entry today.
“I downloaded this because I had no idea what was worth documenting. The Legal Red Flags section alone was worth it. I had three things happen that week that I had almost let go. I documented all three within the 24-hour window. My family law attorney said those entries were some of the strongest in my file.”
“I had been writing everything down in a notes app for months. It felt like evidence but when I showed it to my family law attorney she told me it read as emotional venting, not documentation. The checklist made me realise I had been capturing the wrong things entirely. I started again with the right structure and within six weeks had three documented patterns.”
Before you wonder
Three things people ask before downloading
“Won’t documenting everything just escalate the situation?”
No, because the documentation is invisible to your co-parent. You are not sending records, filing anything, or changing how you communicate with them. You are simply building a private parallel record. Over time, the pattern of using factual, documented responses actually reduces the emotional temperature of exchanges.
“I’m not in a legal dispute right now. Is this still relevant?”
Most parents who end up in a legal dispute wish they had started documenting six months earlier. The checklist is most valuable when started before a crisis, so the record already exists when it is needed. Starting now costs you nothing. Not starting could cost you significantly.
“My ex is very good at appearing reasonable. Will this help with that?”
This is exactly what the checklist is designed for. Single incidents are easy to dismiss. A record of 30 small behaviours across four months, categorised and timestamped, is not. The checklist teaches you to capture the behaviours that build pattern evidence over time, specifically for situations where the co-parent appears cooperative in public.
Who made this
S.J.Howe
I write about the psychological and strategic mechanics of high-conflict separation because understanding the mechanism is what changes outcomes. The Emergency Red Flag Checklist is free because knowing what to document is the starting point. Everything I build goes deeper from there.
The Firewall Protocol, the paid product this checklist leads to, is built on the Transparent Shield Protocol: a documentation system specifically designed for co-parenting situations where the other party does not operate in good faith and where the documentation itself needs to be court-ready from day one.
Free. Private. Instant.
The exchange that just happened may already be evidence.
The message this morning. The handover that did not go as agreed. The comment your child repeated. Each one has a documentation window. Download the checklist and find out which ones are still open.
No spam. One email with your checklist. Unsubscribe any time.
The checklist tells you what to notice. The Firewall Protocol teaches you how to document it so it is credible, court-ready, and impossible to dismiss. The 45-minute audio covers the Transparent Shield Protocol: the Master Archive Method, the 24-hour capture process, the Gray Rock communication scripts, and the pattern recognition framework that turns daily documentation into a legally structured case file.
Learn about The Firewall Protocol ($97) →